Thursday, August 28, 2008


Java and history in the making

I came to Java from C++ the way maybe a lot of developers did which was being on a project where I thought I'd do one language and being told I was to learn it because that was the language we were using. So I did. I learned Java and became a lead developer on the project and helped bring a new app into the world where far as I know it's still out there saving lives.

But the language became key in my bigger struggle to find validation for my efforts when after playing with my own amateur mathematical ideas, I was called names, like "subhuman" and crazy. When I had strangers trying to find anything they could say to me in posts to be as nasty as they could, because I was playing with my own math ideas.

Maybe there is something good that can come from hatred and viciousness when responding to it is motivation to DO something that can take you beyond people telling you that you are nothing that you are a cretin that you are beneath contempt because you're trying to do your amateur mathematical research.

And I made Class Viewer, put it on SourceForge and as its ranking went up, I could say, yeah, I can do something. I can MAKE something despite what these math people are telling me. Something they can see, as I hadn't learned yet to repudiate the negative judgments. After all, for my research to be accepted, didn't I need acceptance from the mathematicians?

I NEEDED it because I'd found what I thought were proofs, and could explain them in detail, but these people said I was wrong, and that they were the experts, and that I was crazy. So I thought, maybe I am. What if I am?

I know. I'll make something and see.

And I could write my prime counting function, which I did in Java, and see those counts of prime numbers to verify against known counts, and see the same people hurling insults, still. And I could see and show, though they never missed a beat. Facts meant nothing to them. Demonstration was meaningless...but wait, I was published! But they fought against my paper after publication. The journal SWJPAM died. Where could I go? What could I do?

Where was the world? So connected, through the Internet, but where was the world?

I saw newspaper articles proclaiming greatness for people I knew were wrong, and they ate it up.

They cheered each other, and I knew what it was for people to be wrong together, for the victory of popular belief.

Posters here believe that I talk about Google rankings to brag.


I talk about the concrete to have a hold on my sense of my own sanity.

To say that there IS something concrete beyond what people say because people can lie.

You can sit back and think this story is not about you, but it would be you, if you found something that certain people didn't want known and they could just get together and say, no.

The mathematical community today has problems. Those problems seen first by me in those insults hurled at me just for trying, and now in the denial of proof, or even the definition of mathematical proof.

But the concrete remains so I have comfort in it.

I have my open source Java project on SourceForge. It is my Class Viewer that does some simple things, but I think it does them well, and no math person can ever call me crazy or subhuman ever, and it completely stick.

Though they still try.

No matter how hard they try and they have tried for so many years, I am human. I am not sub. I am not second class. They are not better than me no matter how many of them think they are no matter how many of them claim themselves to be. No matter how many of you do either.

And I try. And I fail. But I will not just be told that I am wrong.

Their efforts in the psychological campaign to rip my humanity from me, to destroy my sense of self, my sense of my own sanity by breaking their own rules and the most basic rules of human decency have failed because of machines.

My computer doesn't care what you say, what you think or how wrong you are because when I write a program if that program is correct then my computer does the right thing.

If only people consistently did the right thing.

If only proof were enough.

But people can lie. So the program is the thing.

I call my latest research the optimal path engine. Some may have noticed that you might call it the Harris optimal path engine. And if you take those first letters, you have HOPE.

The best path is the one that takes you beyond yourself and beyond your dreams to see the world as it truly is, not even as you wish it to be.

And to stand not just on the shoulders of greats, but to stand next to them, shoulder to shoulder, mind to mind, heart to heart, understanding that the pursuit of truth is the greatest art of them all.

I think that's kind of poetic, so I guess I'll post it. After all, why not? It's not like it really matters what people say to me.

I think I've heard just about every nasty thing people can muster.

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